#i think about her. so much

[girlgerard]

sometimes i’ll see a pic of gerard way onstage in 2023 and i’ll suddenly recognize them from specifically 2014-2015.

it’s such a bizarre feeling because gerard was not like. beloved by all in the mcr community during those years, and their social media impact was much smaller, so gway content was mostly just them chatting on twitter 24/7 and the various fuzzy pictures one could find posted after a solo show. it was a weirdly intimate time to be a fan, especially with gerard nonstop rambling about how much they loved trans people.

it’s such a bizarre feeling because imo this tour has been just as vulnerable as when gerard was spilling their guts onstage night after night in 2014-2015, and yet the tone and context is so much different. hesitant alien to me was an album about gerard reforming their view of themself as an artist, as a coincidental leader, and as a person; to see a tour eight years later where it seems like their main thesis is being as true to themself as possible is really important and generous, i think.

[apollos-boyfriend]

something they don’t tell you about being autistic is that every character you write WILL end up autistic/autistic-coded whether you like it or not

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[humming-fly]

I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever

[morganbritton132]

The funniest thing Stranger Things could do is reveal that Steve’s parents are like, really liberal. They donate to AIDs research. They were arrested protesting the Vietnam War. They campaigned for Mondale. Steve tells them that Nancy broke up with him and they’re like, “Thank god, that family believes in Reaganomics.”

[lauraneedstochill]

[every action has consequences]

🔪 inspired by this tweet:

[astearisms]

catalysts, protectors

[fernsnailz]

some good future metal/neo pages i did while waiting at the mechanic yesterday

[chimchiri]

gideon & harrow OR rd and sf as cowboys please please please

It's the cowgirl necro and her gunslinger cav! Who is so damn extra she's got three guns: one left, one right, and one in pole position! (She swears the ladies love it!)

[somewhereincairparavel]

"jason is a knockoff watered down percy" NO hear me out, jason actually parallels annabeth immensely, sharing SO many similarities with her personality, not percy, in this essay I will-

edit: my full analysis is out now! here

[anna-scribbles]

emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀

more:

[chloesimaginationthings]

I know Vanessa regret saying this in the FNAF movie,,

[lazylittledragon]

i need guenhwyvar to be Cat so bad

[demaparbat-hp]

She will (and he'll let her)

[kaahmbem]

legend has it that the young witch circe and the once beautiful nymph scylla shared a complicated past...

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.